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Discretion and privacy

The commonest reason people hesitate is not cost and not safety. It is being found out.

The commonest reason people hesitate is not cost and not safety. It is the fear of being found out. That is worth answering directly.

What a client actually gives

A first name, which does not have to be the real one, and a telephone number that answers. For a hotel booking, the name the room is under. That is generally the whole of it. No account, no registration, no identity document, no payment record.

An escort or agency asking for more than that at the enquiry stage is unusual, and the reason should be given plainly. Verification requests do happen and are legitimate on the escort's side, since he is the one walking into a stranger's home; what a reasonable operation asks for is reassurance that a person exists, not documentation.

What is held afterwards

  • By an agencyContact details, so that a repeat booking can be arranged. Reputable agencies state that client details stay with them and are not passed to the escort or anyone else. This should be checked rather than assumed, and any agency that cannot answer the question clearly is answering it.
  • By an escortA number, a first name and whatever was mentioned in conversation. Discretion runs in both directions and is the escort's own interest as much as the client's.
  • On a bank statementNothing, where cash is used. This is the main practical reason the cash convention persists.
  • On a phoneMessages, unless deleted. The one part of the arrangement entirely within the client's own control.

Anonymity in practice

Calling from a withheld number is possible and agencies are used to it. A working name rather than a real one is entirely normal on the client side too. Meeting at a hotel rather than at home removes the address from the arrangement altogether, and is the reason a good many first bookings happen that way.

The other side of it

An escort has at least as much reason for discretion as a client. He is working under a name that is not his own, keeping the work separate from his private life, and depends entirely on a reputation for saying nothing. The idea of an escort discussing a client elsewhere misunderstands the incentives completely.

Being seen in public

Dinner bookings mean being in a restaurant with someone. In practice this attracts no attention whatsoever, because two people having dinner look like two people having dinner. Escorts working at this end of the market are practised at it and will follow whatever the client sets: a colleague, an old friend, a partner, or nothing said at all.

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